That said, envy isn’t something to be ashamed about. įeeling envy or jealousy could be your way of dealing with the pain. Our bodies perceive the stimuli that cause the pain as a threat and our natural response is to find ways to either fight or escape that pain (such as withdrawing from a friendship or attributing someone’s success to external factors like luck or circumstance). This emotional pain registers in our brain the same way as physical pain. When our need for social connectedness is threatened - such as getting rejected from a job, not being invited to a lunch with our peers, or facing a microaggression at school or at work - it can make us feel isolated. Our emotional need to feel connected and accepted by those around us is hardwired into our DNA and essential to our health, happiness, and sense of self. At its core, envy is just the recognition that you want something that you lack or that others have.īecause, as humans, we crave social belongingness. That emotional pain often shows up as envy. But at the core of both is the emotional pain associated with being left out. I see two different issues here - responding to your own feelings about being waitlisted or rejected and responding to your friends’ successes. That doesn’t make us bad friends, partners, or siblings it makes us human. Ugh, I feel you! We all experience moments in life where we feel happiness mixed with a pang of jealousy. We asked Shasta Nelson, author of The Business of Friendship: Making the Most of the Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our Time, to respond. How am I supposed to face these rejections and maintain my friendships? I know I should feel happy for them, yet I can’t help but feel jealous as I see my friends succeed while I face setbacks. In each situation, I believe that I’m just as qualified as my friends. Almost all of them received offers but I was rejected. In another instance, a few friends and I applied for an internship at a FAANG (Facebook, Amazon, Apple Netflix, and Google) company. He got accepted while I’ve been waitlisted. My friend and I applied for a master’s at the same university. I’m in my senior year of college, majoring in computer science.
0 kommentar(er)
